Friday, December 17, 2010

How to Not Get Your Cellphone or Other Gadgets Confiscated in School

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment and satire of what I experienced in school. I do not recommend one to try to break school rules. Please follow the rules that are set for your classroom. I will not be responsible for students attempting to sneak doing things that they are not supposed to do. Follow at your own risk!

Isn't it crazy when a teacher takes a student's belongings because they aren't paying attention or they just see them using it?

When I was in 7th grade (that was in 1997), there was a virtual pet craze (tamagotchi, nano babies, digipets, etc.). Teachers would take them by the hotcakes. I don't think they are around anymore, but you had to view them frequently like you would a cellphone.

Not many people had cellphones when I was in the 7th grade, but I remember in senior year of high school, we had to turn our cellphones off. I was never caught but I always used.

I text in school (if there was good reception), ate food, played with toys, slept, doodled, played gameboy, listened to CDs, even passed many many notes. Never caught. Call me lucky.

So why am I posting this if we are not supposed to do it? Well sometimes students have good reasons to do these things, and sometimes they are flat out bored in class. I was an A student that was sometimes bored and needed to challenge myself from time to time, that is why I did it. Sometimes I would finish my work early and need something to do to past the time by. I was sometimes hungry, and because of my monthly period I would feel weak.

Most of the time when a student says that they are not feeling well and need to do certain things like eat, teachers would say you would have to provide a doctor's note. I didn't feel like going through so much if I could use great stealth to eat when I wanted to.

Here is what Big Sister Chykara did to not get caught:

 When I was in the 5th grade, we would show off our die cast cars and wheel them around on our desk and play our gameboy. From time to time I would look up as if I was attentive and even pretend to scribble some things down and then continue playing.

In 6th grade, I would eat popcorn because my band class would have days we would watch movies. She allowed us to pop microwave popcorn and eat snacks. I would have popcorn left over, so I would continue eating in other classes throughout the day. You would think that the butter smell would fill the room, but the trick was for me to wait until the popcorn was cold. If the teacher smelled the butter, she/he would know first hand that it was in my book bag instead of me walking around with it in my hand.

*If I was chewing gum, I would slow down my chews so that they are not noticeable. I would flatten the gum to the side of my mouth, or at the top of my teeth, so if a teacher asked me to stick my tongue out, nothing would be there.

In 7th grade I had 3 nano babies to take care of. What I did was mute the sound on all of them, focus on one throughout the day, by pretending to go into my book bag to look for something, and lastly make sure all the stats (happiness, discipline and eating were all maxed out). If my nano babies went to the bathroom, I knew they would need to eat again, so I would do it all in one run. Another way I did this if I knew the teachers were on the lookout for confiscating stuff, I would change the time so that the nano babies would sleep during the day and up all night. I was pretty experienced with this because I could play and feed them while half sleep in the middle of the night.

When cellphones came around, it was pretty easy to turn the phone on silent and text. My first cellphone was a motorola v60 (old I know!) but it had a screen on the outside that would show a little animation to let me know if I missed a call, text etc.

All in all the basics here is to stay alert. You will have to be more alert than anyone else in the class, know what the teacher is talking about, pretend to be busy (ruffle papers around and pull items out of your book bag if you have to), get most of your classwork done, stay quiet, and most of all pretend to be the best student. Sometimes you don't need to do much to pretend, but you get the idea. My Spanish teacher in the 10th grade used to call on me every time she wanted to review what she just taught the class, and every time I was either passing a note to someone, eating, or playing footsies with a boy that I had liked at the time. I would answer the questions she asked me correctly and without a problem.

Of course doing these things have its drawbacks. I'm sure you already know what they are, and truthfully you have to weigh out the consequences (good and bad) yourself. I am just putting this up to give an idea that not all good students follow the practice of not breaking rules. I'll have some more good stuff to tell in later posts.

So stay good, and stay distracted!

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